Short Joke Compilation

This special post is a compilation of 8 short jokes. Have fun =)

Short Joke #1

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."*

Short Joke #2

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"*

Short Joke #3

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."*
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."*

Short Joke #4

What is the definition of Mistress?*
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.*

Short Joke #5

Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE??*
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies, "No, It means, "With Idiot For Ever" !"*

Short Joke #6

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*
Stress is when wife is pregnant,*
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*
and Panic is when both are pregnant.*

Short Joke #7

A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"*
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these
are customer complaints".*

Short Joke #8

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
confidential?"*
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."*