tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31074955084393579462024-03-09T08:28:12.563+08:00Joking CornerAdministratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-65111839924302310422011-06-03T18:13:00.000+08:002011-06-03T18:13:31.331+08:00World's Biggest Angry Birds PlayGround, here in Kuala Lumpur!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: 'lucida grande', 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AqTY5_wdkp8/TeizTQHshDI/AAAAAAAAAIc/b5XD-ytw9Jc/s1600/nokia_angry_bird.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" height="257" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AqTY5_wdkp8/TeizTQHshDI/AAAAAAAAAIc/b5XD-ytw9Jc/s320/nokia_angry_bird.png" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #111111; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', 'lucida grande', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -0.01em; line-height: 29px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">World's Biggest Angry Birds PlayGround, here in Kuala Lumpur!</h3><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are attempting to create a GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS™ for the Most People Playing in a Mobile Phone Game Relay. Come make history, join in the fun and win fantastic prizes! All happening on 11 June 2011 at Boulevard Strip, Low Yat Plaza, KL from 11am - 9pm. The date is set, the birds are ready, the record awaits!</div>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-59101889618999002402011-04-20T09:44:00.000+08:002011-04-20T09:44:13.751+08:00Let's get Facebook's attention! Pledge to make Malaysia the Facebook Capital of the world!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="campaign-about-contents" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; float: left; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 520px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-weight: inherit; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKbF3Y4Ij88/Ta46MKlSBSI/AAAAAAAAAIE/5gfVJjTFbf0/s1600/FB_Ad2-250x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKbF3Y4Ij88/Ta46MKlSBSI/AAAAAAAAAIE/5gfVJjTFbf0/s1600/FB_Ad2-250x250.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Did you know that we, Malaysia as a nation, spend the most time on Facebook? We have the highest average friends on Facebook too! Join this movement to make Malaysia the Facebook Capital of the World. Pledge your support and you could win an invite to an exclusive LIVE FB PARTY hosted by DiGi!</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><a href="http://says.my/alanthl/digi-eff-bee">Read More!</a></b></span></div></div>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-61738950083135070332011-04-13T22:41:00.002+08:002011-04-13T22:41:39.406+08:00Dictionary Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Divorce </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: Future tense of marriage.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Cigarette </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Lecture </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Conference</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Compromise</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Tears </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Dictionary</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A place where success comes before work.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Conference Room </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Classic</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A book which people praise, but do not read.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Smile </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Office </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Yawn </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Etc</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Committee </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Experience </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: The name men give to their mistakes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Atom Bomb </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: An invention to end all inventions.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Philosopher </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Diplomat </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Opportunist </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A person who starts taking bath if he accident falls into a river.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Optimist </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Miser </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Father </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A banker provided by god.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Criminal </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Boss </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Politician </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>Doctor </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. ...</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-29471098340240566922011-04-12T22:26:00.000+08:002011-04-12T22:26:32.634+08:00Keep Your Condom Inside the Car<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">younger sister.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">my life to her sister. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it, just come up </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and get me."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">stairs. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">down the stairs at me. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">frontdoor. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">straight towards my car.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">My future father-in-law was standing outside.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">daughter. Welcome to the family."</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Moral of the story:</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Keep your condom inside the car =))</b></span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-63246393740801869302011-04-12T12:53:00.001+08:002011-04-12T12:56:02.675+08:00We're gonna party like it's your birthday!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0DQwcqPj5Hc/TaPasL6smHI/AAAAAAAAAH4/UEIE_Qb7qbw/s1600/paint.png" /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To celebrate 3 years of growing the community, Says.my is giving gifts to Malaysians across the social media! Macbook Air, Samsung Plasma TV, iPhone 4, Canon SLR, iPad 2, Lomokit, trip to South Korea, IKEA room makeover, front row tickets to Justin Bieber's concert, shopping sprees to TopShop, Forever21, MNG etc... you have to see the full list. Good things are meant to be shared. Happy 3rd Birthday, everyone! To find out more, <a href="http://says.my/alanthl/bday">Click HERE!</a></span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-99153748798370362011-04-12T12:51:00.001+08:002011-04-12T12:57:08.609+08:00Things you didn't know about Maybank yet.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MUdd6sfnTZw/TaPaB2O1xRI/AAAAAAAAAH0/M8IgvhHDB-o/s1600/card_gold.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MUdd6sfnTZw/TaPaB2O1xRI/AAAAAAAAAH0/M8IgvhHDB-o/s1600/card_gold.png" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here are some things you may not know about Maybank's brand new Maybankard yet. First of all, do you know that all it takes is just a click of a button and 2 new Maybankards will be delivered to your doorstep? Secondly, there's no annual fee at all for Maybankard, forever! And third, with Maybankard, you can start to buy stuffs through online now and you will get 5% cash back. That's like earning money by spending. I bet you didn't know about all these, do you? To find out more, <a href="http://says.my/alanthl/maybankard2-microsite">Click HERE!</a></span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-22707639670602953092011-04-12T12:48:00.002+08:002011-04-12T12:58:01.116+08:00What are you doing this weekend? Let's have some Fun!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Cuy48ggQn8/TaPZhkhXKEI/AAAAAAAAAHw/9Os3zoxiJHE/s1600/groupon_logo.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Cuy48ggQn8/TaPZhkhXKEI/AAAAAAAAAHw/9Os3zoxiJHE/s1600/groupon_logo.gif" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I bet there are many activities which you may not even know exist in Malaysia - for example shooting real gun, paramotoring, microlight aircraft, jet tube, disco skating, buggy ride, wakeboarding and so many more fun stufffs! Want to try something fun and new this week? <a href="http://says.my/alanthl/groupsmore-invite">Find them out here!</a></span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-48321083185666187572011-04-02T11:38:00.000+08:002011-04-02T11:38:50.309+08:00Too Stupid to Own a Computer<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "What sort of trouble??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Went away?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "They disappeared. "</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Nothing."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Nothing??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "How do I tell?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "What's a monitor?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "I don't know."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Yes, I think so."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Yes, it is."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "No."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Okay, here it is."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "I can't reach."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "No."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Dark??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "I can't."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "No? Why not??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Because there's a power failure."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!! !"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-64225316279799631292011-04-02T11:31:00.000+08:002011-04-02T11:31:38.519+08:00Where is the Baby?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.<br />
<br />
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?"one of them asked.<br />
<br />
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."<br />
<br />
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"<br />
<br />
"No, not yet," said the mother.<br />
<br />
A while later and again the guests asked, "May we see the baby now?"<br />
<br />
"No, not yet," replied the mother.<br />
<br />
Growing impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"<br />
<br />
"When it cries!" she told them.<br />
<br />
"When it cries?" they gasped. "Why do we have to wait until it cries?"<br />
<br />
"Because, I forgot where I put it."</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-15760780883560042972011-03-31T01:34:00.002+08:002011-03-31T01:34:56.785+08:00CIA Test<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The second man was given the same instructions. He tookthe gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another, six in a row. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">"This gun is loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Moral of the story : Never put a woman to the test.</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-14708369736474089022011-03-29T00:10:00.002+08:002011-03-29T00:10:26.628+08:00Interview by NASA<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">NASA officials were interviewing three prospective astronauts to sent to Mars on a dangerous one-way trip. Only one of the three would go, and that candidate would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first candidate, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid to go.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">"One million dollars," replied the engineer, "and I want it donated to my alma mater, Rice University."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The interviewer asked the next candidate the same question.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">"Two million dollars," answered the doctor, "and I want to give one million to my family and leave the other million to medical research."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The third candidate, a lawyer, was asked the same question.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">"Three million dollars!" replied the lawyer.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">"Why so much?" the interviewer inquired.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll keep a million, give you a million, and we'll send the engineer."</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-77158195863872380832011-03-29T00:06:00.000+08:002011-03-29T00:06:03.082+08:00Never Underestimate a Chinese<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The Chinese replies:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><b>'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'</b></span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-69670693330690210002011-03-26T02:17:00.002+08:002011-03-26T02:17:47.460+08:00Italian Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 Months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Drugstore and buys a pregnancy test.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says," Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest we do?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f**k her again."</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-80933792711048372702011-03-26T02:10:00.000+08:002011-03-26T02:10:52.421+08:00Email Confusion<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">his room, so he</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">decided </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">to send an e-mail to his wife. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and without </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">realizing his error, he sent out the e-mail.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">returned from her </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">husband's funeral. The widow decided </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">to check her inbox, expecting condolence messages from </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">relatives and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">friends.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Upon reading the first message, she fainted. The </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">widow's son rushed into </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">the room, found his mother on the floor, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and saw the computer screen which read as follow:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">To : My Loving Wife</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Subject: I've Reached</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Date : 16 May 2004</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">computers here, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I've just reached here and have been checked-in. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I see that everything has been prepared for your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">arrival tomorrow.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Bye</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-13167070581068603322011-03-26T01:57:00.000+08:002011-03-26T01:57:12.794+08:00Blog UpdatedBlog had been updated.<br />
<br />
The Blog Archive gadget which is previously on your left had already been move to <a href="http://jokingcorner.blogspot.com/p/archive.html">here</a>.<br />
<br />
You can also go to the archive page at the link above beside the "Home" link.<br />
<br />
Thank you.Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-71463357613870286532011-03-24T00:28:00.002+08:002011-03-24T00:28:58.976+08:00Medical Claim<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital .</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The doctor asked, 'What can I do for you?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man said, 'Will you watch us having sex, give your expert analysis?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">doctor said, 'There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse' </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and charged them RM60.00.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor and then</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">leave.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Finally the doctor asked, 'Just exactly what are you trying to find </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">out?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man said, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">we can't go to her house - I'm married and we can't go to my house.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Shangri-la Putrajaya charges RM250.00, Mandarin Oriental charges </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">RM280.00, Le Meridian charges M230.00. We do it here for RM60.00 and I </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">get that back from 'Medical Claim'.......!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; color: #222222; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-70653349850617116312011-03-24T00:26:00.000+08:002011-03-24T00:26:09.304+08:00Polish Husband with English Wife<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A Polish man moved to the UK. After a while he met a nice girl and they got married. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a solicitors office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The solicitor said that getting a divorce would depend on the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">circumstances, and asked him the following questions:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Have you any grounds?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">It made of concrete.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I don't think you understand, do either of you have a real grudge?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">No, we have carport, and not need one.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I mean. What are your relations like?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">All my relations still in Poland ..</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Is there any infidelity in your marriage?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Does your wife beat you up?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">No, I am always up before her.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Is your wife a nagger?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">No, she white.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Why do you want this divorce?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">She going to kill me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">What makes you think that?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I got proof.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">What kind of proof?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at chemist and put on shelf in</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">bathroom!.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">You'll love this .</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover'</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-38698959476025815212011-03-21T23:43:00.000+08:002011-03-21T23:43:00.652+08:00Made In China<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A man went on a business to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">happen if this does not work?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">even switch on. He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refused to give </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">either, the man pointed to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China , we read from the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">right to the left.</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-21390403136619010712011-03-21T23:40:00.000+08:002011-03-21T23:40:03.149+08:00McDonald Job Interview Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">NAME: Greg Bulmash.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">EDUCATION: Yes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">SALARY: Less than I’m worth.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">SIGN HERE: Aries.</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-38677432717190382942011-03-21T00:41:00.000+08:002011-03-21T00:41:42.904+08:00Tomato Story<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">and returned home with $60.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">He started to plan his family's future, an d decided to have a life insurance.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man replied,'I don't have an email.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Moral of the story</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Moral 1</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Internet is not the solution to your life.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Moral 2</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">If you don't have Internet, but work hard, you can be a millionaire.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"> </span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-46762991946291800502011-03-21T00:36:00.002+08:002011-03-21T00:36:32.308+08:00Credit Card Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now, it's somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Here is the actual conversation that transpired:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Excuse me?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Supervisor gets on the phone:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">After they get the fax:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people??)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'That might help...'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !' ?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-27470090237123067842011-03-19T13:51:00.002+08:002011-03-19T13:51:43.467+08:00Robot Bartender<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, “What's your IQ?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The man replies, “150”, and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming, factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.”, and decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What's your IQ?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">“About a 100,” the man responds.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about football, the Bathurst 1000, cricket, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and the like.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Really impressed, the man leaves then walks in again.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">“What's your IQ?” the robot asks.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">“Er, 50, I think.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">And the robot responds, very, very slowly, “So, I expect you'll be supporting Manchester United again this year?”</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-27676979656050240572011-03-19T01:57:00.002+08:002011-03-19T01:57:45.002+08:00Gun Firing Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">FEMALE INTERVIEWER:So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">GENERAL COSGROVE:We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">GENERAL COSGROVE:Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over.</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-66815675976679339582011-03-19T01:54:00.002+08:002011-03-19T01:54:29.459+08:00A Letter For Dad<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Dear Dad:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Stacy said that we will be very happy.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Stacy can get better. She deserves it.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">get to know your grandchildren.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Love, Your Son John</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">report card That's in my center desk drawer.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;">Call me when it's safe to come home.</span></span>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3107495508439357946.post-41778733483236298232011-03-17T23:21:00.000+08:002011-03-17T23:21:38.001+08:00A Note On The Refrigerator<div class="postcolor" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:<br />
<br />
My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset, I shall be home before midnight.<br />
<br />
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:<br />
<br />
My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old... I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the<br />
Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.</span></div><div><br />
</div>Administratorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05662049093699921407noreply@blogger.com0