A Note On The Refrigerator

Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning:

My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset, I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old... I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the
Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Deaf Wife

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. 

The Doctor told him there is a simple, informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response." 

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response. 

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response. 

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" 

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. 

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" 

(I just love this).....




"For the FIFTH bloody time, CHICKEN!"

Marriage Humour

After a couple settle down as in being married, this sure gonna change. Enjoy the examples in this post.


#1
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

#2Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

#3
Girl:
'When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy:
'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any
worries or troubles.'
Girl:
'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

#4
Son:
'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom:
'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son:
'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

#5
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

#6
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

#7
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'. The wife apologised and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'.